Being a teacher, I always knew that I would love watching my children move through stages of development. It’s great to see all the required readings about developmental theories from my university days come to life through the actions and words of my children, and I can’t help but feel a little bit proud that they are kicking goals cognitively. However even though I can confidently pinpoint the developmental stage that my child is working through, I am by no means an expert at dealing with it, and I have made plenty of errors. I have learnt pretty quickly that parenting is a ruthless job in the fact that our ‘professional development’ more times than not occurs ‘on the job’, not in a conference room with delicious food and an infinite supply of Mentos. An instance of professional development was thrust upon me the other day when my eldest presented me with a rock…
This rock was like any other rock, except for the fact that he had taken it from his daycare without permission. On a very basic and simple level, my son had stolen something. Awesome, I thought (please read that last part with total sarcasm). My child is at the stage where he realises that if he wants something, he is physically able to take it. So when he came to me with this rock and I found out that he popped it in his pocket without asking, I had two clear options;
- Dismiss it. I mean, it’s only a rock, the daycare has hundreds (possibly thousands) of them and I am certain that he hasn’t been the first kid to pocket one. Or;
- Explain and teach to him the concept of stealing.
With the 10 seconds that I had to make a choice, I went for option ‘b’. I sat him down and spoke about what stealing means, and why it’s not okay. I used a calm voice for obvious reasons, but at the same time it was easy to use a calm voice because I knew that it was just a rock, not something of monetary or sentimental value. We then discussed how he would feel if someone took something that belonged to him (hurt, disappointed, let down). Finally, we talked about how we could fix his mistake i.e. return it to daycare. There was no punishment, however we had a consequence: return the rock and apologise to his teacher.
Did I overreact? Did I make a mountain out of a molehill? They were the questions I was saying to myself over and over that night (to be honest, probably no different to the questions that roll around in my head any other night!). I answered the questions by going back to what I want to be as a parent; someone who my children can talk to and trust when they have done the wrong thing. I feel like this simple example of stealing allowed me to have a calm and open conversation with my child. At the end of it, I feel as though he would feel comfortable enough to tell me if he made a similar mistake in the future. So yes, it was just a rock, but it was the rock that lead to the opportunity for my son to learn how to be a decent human, and for me to become a better parent.
It's A Work In Progress 