Rona went and stole my identity. Probably a little on the dramatic side, but I’ve said it now. And the strange thing was, it took me three weeks of isolation to come to this overinflated realisation.
When my husband and I had our first child, we put a plan in place to make sure we were still able to do the things that still made us individuals. We found this to be important in ensuring that we didn’t just become ‘mum’ and ‘dad’. While it made us busier, and it required a little juggling, it was just what we needed and I honestly feel as though it makes us better parents when we can do the things we love and have a passion for.
Netball, one of my biggest passions, has been cancelled until who knows. I understood that this had to happen, but I didn’t comprehend just how much it would impact on my wellbeing until this morning. I woke up and cried like a baby. It reminded me of the time I cried as a young girl, hearing that netball was called off due to wet weather.
I miss the banter, my teammates and the adrenaline that comes with a great ball, intercept or touch. I miss the car trip to the courts (silence!), the post match analysis and the chat that goes with what we’ll work on at the next training session.
I miss my son wishing me good luck, my daughter helping me with my shoes and my husband reassuring me that he has it all under control as I rush out the door, desperately trying to make it to training on time.
I miss the warm ups; jogging as a team and running through stretches that I constantly forget the order of, and so instead, I delegate this part of training to a much younger mind.
I miss that cool change in the air that hits about thirty minutes into the session; that reminder that I was yet again too silly to pack a jacket.
I miss my friends. A bunch of girls who have come together and forged friendships purely through our love for the game.
And unapologetically, I miss not being ‘mum’ for a couple of hours.
And yes, I am well aware netball isn’t gone forever, and there are more pressing issues out there than a thirty year old’s tantrum over not playing for her regional town. However, these facts didn’t stop me from crying this morning and evidently they haven’t prevented me from writing this blog.
All this being said, I am grateful for one thing: COVID-19 has helped me realise how important netball is to me, and how much of a positive impact it has on my wellbeing. I am hopeful that this realisation will stick with me long after we’re allowed back on the court, as it’s the lesson that I never knew I needed to learn.
It's A Work In Progress 